The Size of the Chain
by WeirdLittleStories
Summary: McCoy wants to know what Kirk saw in Spock's mind when Spock mind-melded with Kirk at the end of "The Paradise Syndrome" — does the Vulcan feel, or doesn't he? Kirk won't tell, but he does give McCoy a rather large hint. (Although I sometimes write BDSM, there's none in this story; the "chain" in the title has nothing to do with kinky sex. :-D)


Kirk filled his glass halfway, then passed the bottle back to McCoy. "I think that's enough for now," he said, "I still have things to do later."

McCoy accepted the bottle and capped it. They'd met for a drink in his quarters, as they often did, but the meeting and drinking had been more or less a nightly occurrence during the three weeks after Miramanee's death. They'd talked much about Jim's time as Kirok, about his unexpected marriage and about the death of his wife and unborn child, and the doctor judged that the time had come to take Kirk out of himself, to give him something else to think about. He cast about for a topic that might intrigue the captain.

"So," he said, "Spock mind melded with you to break your amnesia and to remind you who you were." He shuddered. "Glad it was you and not me; I wouldn't want anybody poking around in _my_ head."

Kirk smiled. "I'm lucky he _has _the ability to 'poke around' in my head, or I might have been stuck being Kirok for the rest of my life."

"Nah." McCoy sipped his bourbon. "That was the fastest way to get you back, but I'm sure we could have done something, once we'd taken you back to the _Enterprise_. The sight of the ship, herself, might have snapped you out of it. Hard to imagine a Jim Kirk who wouldn't recognize his Silver Lady, no matter what happened to him."

Kirk looked speculatively at the closest bulkhead then back at McCoy. "You may be right, Bones. Still, melding with Spock was an interesting experience, one I'm just as glad to have had."

McCoy leaned forward. "And now that you've melded with Spock, you can answer a question about him."

"What's that?"

McCoy looked intently at Kirk. "Were there emotions in his mind, or weren't there? We're all pretty sure he _does _feel, but no one really knows what a Vulcan's emotions are like, they keep them under wraps so much. So, spill it, Jim — what kind of feelings did you see in Spock's mind?"

Kirk held up a hand. "Whoa, Bones. Those aren't my secrets to tell. I'm not going to repay a man who risked himself to save me by gossiping about what I saw in his head, not even to you."

McCoy picked up the bottle. "Maybe you should have another drink."

Kirk grinned. "Getting me drunk won't help you." He looked down into his glass and swirled it idly as he thought, then looked back up. "But logic might."

"Logic!" McCoy looked like a man whose bourbon had been replaced with kerosene.

"Sure, Bones. All you have to do is think for a minute." He paused and looked at the doctor, teasing him with the wait.

"Think about what?"

"You know how on primitive planets, they don't have humane and healthy enclosures for domesticated animals or zoo animals, they just chain the creatures up?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Well, have you ever seen a chain with links a millimeter thick holding a grizzly bear or a chain with links five centimeters thick holding a chipmunk?"

"No, I can't say that I have. What's your point?"

"You don't ever have to see the animal to know how strong or fierce it is; all you have to see is the size of the chain."

"Uh-huh..."

Kirk leaned forward. "You've seen the size of the chain that Spock uses to restrain his emotions. You don't have to see those emotions to know how strong or weak they might be, once you've seen the size of the chain."

McCoy's eyes widened. "Jim, with a 'chain' that big, he'd have to have the strongest feelings on the ship! His emotions would have to be twice as powerful as ours, maybe three times, to need a chain that strong."

Kirk smiled sadly. "They would, wouldn't they?"

McCoy looked at Kirk skeptically, and his eyes narrowed. "You're pulling my leg, right? What did you really see in the meld?"

Kirk shook his head. "I won't tell you what I saw in the meld, but no, I'm not pulling your leg. That's all I'll say, Bones — just think about the size of the chain."

McCoy looked at the floor, lost in thought, and was silent.

.

Notes

1. Thanks for reading!

2. Someone asked me to clarify why I had Kirk smile SADLY when talking about Vulcan emotions. I did that for two reasons:

a. His dear friend has such strong feelings, but Jim will only ever get to see them in a meld, and he'd love to be able to see them on Spock's face or hear them in Spock's voice, so he's sad for his own sake, that he will never get to witness his friend's feelings out in the world.

b. Restraining such strong feelings costs Spock a lot — costs all Vulcans a lot — and Kirk is sad for Vulcans in general and for Spock in particular, that the experience of past generations has taught them that their emotions are too strong to be allowed to run loose, that they must devote so much energy to controlling them.

3. You know I don't own Star Trek, because if I did, things would be soooooo different.

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